"When allies buy into the belief that tragedy is the only true representation of autism and feel like they must put the most intimate details of autistic lives on public display in an effort to tell the world what the condition is really like, it violates the privacy of human beings who likely haven’t consented to sharing their stories. Moreover, it makes an already vulnerable population even more open to public scrutiny, attacks, and abuse. When autistic self-advocates are expected to participate in that conversation, it puts our health and well-being at serious risk. In the interest of protecting my own autistic life, I refuse to participate in this discourse.

For one thing, abject tragedy is not my truth. I do struggle with autism on a regular basis, and I would go so far as to say that I often suffer from some of its most common comorbidities, like depression and anxiety. But even on my worst day, it wouldn’t occur to me to define my life by them. Good things happen to me despite and because of autism. Neutral things happen, too, and they’re as much a part of my true story as the rest. And even if they weren’t, what good would it do me to represent my disability entirely in terms of the misery it causes me and the people I love? Everyone deserves to believe that their life is worth living. In fact, this belief is integral to a person’s very survival in this world. Autistic people face enough suicidal ideation without being asked to think of themselves as nothing more than burdens to their loved ones, and I can’t support or contribute to any conversation that increases that risk."